


Hold Me by the Fire

by mollyinthewater



Series: Octopunk Advent 2020 [3]
Category: Detroit Evolution - Fandom, Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Christmas Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gavin Reed Not Being an Asshole, Gavin Reed is a good boyfriend, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Nightmares, Nines just deserves all the hugs from Gavin alright, Octopunk Advent, Post-Octopunk Media's Detroit: Evolution Fan Film, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Soft Upgraded Connor | RK900, Soft Upgraded Connor | RK900/Gavin Reed, Upgraded Connor | RK900 Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-10
Updated: 2020-12-10
Packaged: 2021-03-09 22:20:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,675
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27983706
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mollyinthewater/pseuds/mollyinthewater
Summary: Nines struggles with what happened with Ada all those months ago and sometimes he dreams about other ways it all could have ended. Gavin's always there to protect him from those nightmares, though.
Relationships: Upgraded Connor | RK900/Gavin Reed
Series: Octopunk Advent 2020 [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2039905
Comments: 2
Kudos: 57





	Hold Me by the Fire

**Author's Note:**

> this is for day nine (fireplace) of the octopunk advent! hope you all enjoy <3

"And the only way to get back there is to let go all of this."

Nines stared back at Gavin—the one he had created all that time ago, but not  _ his _ Gavin–and knew he was right. As dreadfully painful as it was, he had to delete the mind palace, even if that included the simulation that Nines had made of his love. It was the only way to stop Ada, and to get back to Gavin.

"Okay," the android breathed out, blinking away any wetness in his eyes as he took a few steps away from Gavin. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes, picking at the code of the zen garden. Letters and numbers, dots and dashes; things that would mean nothing to a human, yet things that were nearly everything to Nines. But if it was his only solution, what else was he to do?

After a few moments, Nines was able to begin the deletion process of his mind palace. He opened his eyes again, prepared to see the plants surrounding him to start disappearing.

But nothing was happening. Everything was still in one piece, bright green leaves swaying slightly in an invisible breeze and flowers as lively as ever. Nines' eyebrows drew together as he looked around, still expecting the mind palace to begin erasing, but instead being met with an eerie silence and a hauntingly beautiful garden, one that was beginning to make Nines feel sick to his stomach, if that was even possible.

"Gavin?" Nines quietly asked, his voice small as he looked around. The simulation of the human was nowhere to be found. Nines immediately closed his eyes, checking to see if that version of Gavin was being erased first, before the rest of the mind palace joined him.

**[Memory Deletion Progress: 4% Completed]**

Nines' eyes flew open at the words, taking in a sharp breath. That wasn't what he had meant to do, his _ mind palace _ was supposed to delete, not his  _ memories. _ There was no way that he could've accidentally chosen his memory files instead, he was so sure that he had made it so—

"It was never going to work, you know." Nines spun around, finding himself facing Ada once more. She had a mocking smile on her face as her icy blue eyes struck Nines in his thirium pump, a cold feeling washing over him as his breaths began to grow shallow. "Your operating system is too corrupt to be following any kind of orders you want to perform. And with my operating system copying over to yours, I have a sort of control over you now." She paused, letting out an empty, derisive laugh. "Ironic, isn't it? You once deviated so that you could be free, and it was all for nothing."

"Ada," Nines sneered out, walking forward as his body began to shake with anger. But just like earlier, he was stopped, a bright red wall appearing before him and blocking him from Ada. " _ You _ did this."

"Yes," Ada responded, an intrigued look on her face as she stared back at Nines, the red wall becoming invisible. "Once your memory files are all deleted, you'll become a machine again, like me. You won't remember ever deviating, along with those flaws that have been holding you back this whole time."

**[Memory Deletion Progress: 27% Completed]**

"If being deviant means that I am flawed," Nines seethed, his jaw wound tight as he spoke, "then I would rather be an imperfect being than a perfect machine."

"It doesn't matter anymore what you prefer," Ada told him, as calm as ever as Nines closed his eyes, trying to find a way to both stop the deletion process and to calm down. Allowing his anger to control him would do no good, except distracting him from any possible solutions to the mess that Ada had caused. "It will all be over soon."

**[Memory Deletion Progress: 43% Completed]**

"Who knows? Maybe we could even work together," Ada said, causing Nines to reopen his eyes and give her an incredulous look. "It would be nice to have someone as advanced as you on my side."

"I will  _ never _ help you," Nines told her. The only way he was willing to help Ada was by deviating her, but working with her to become the "most optimal androids?" It was deranged in a way. Nines knew he couldn't blame Ada, though. He could blame Cyberlife, however, the humans who had programmed her to be like this and had refused to help her deviate. Those people were the ones at fault here, Ada wasn't really aware of what she was doing.

Just like Nines all those months ago. Before he had deviated, or even met Gavin for that matter. Nines knew what it was like to be that machine. To think that emotions were useless and only damaging, to believe that nothing else mattered but his mission, to see deviants as nothing more but faulty androids.

He had been wrong once, just like Ada, but he had changed. And so could she.

"You do have a point," Ada said, Nines giving her a suspicious look at her word choices. "Even when you do forget your deviancy, you won't be coming out of stasis."

"I... what?"

**[Memory Deletion Progress: 76% Completed]**

Suddenly, a series of rapid beeping noises broke the quietness of Nines' mind palace, both him and Ada looking up at the simulated light blue sky. Though, Nines seemed to be the only one who was confused.

"Nines? Nines!" Nines heard the echo of a woman's voice—Tina, it was Tina. She must have been with the real him, outside of his mind palace. He heard his name being repeated a few more times, another feminine voice, one with an accent that he couldn't identify at the moment, joined in. Nines looked away from the sky and turned his attention back towards Ada, who had apparently lost interest in the situation and began walking away.

"What's happening?" Nines called out to her, a distressed look on his face as his chest rose and fell with every breath. Ada turned back around, giving him a blank stare with a satisfied smile.

**[Memory Deletion Progress: 98% Completed]**

"It's a self-deactivation," Nines heard the woman with the accent say, the words followed by some quick and anxious ones from Tina. Nines' face slowly fell in realization of what was happening, hearing the ringing of a phone outside the mind palace as his stress levels climbed over 80%. He could feel the beat of his thirium pump echoing inside his mind, his head light and pounding. His whole body felt weak as the fear spread over him, like a virus in his code, like a poison coursing in his circuitry.

"Gavin, it–it's Nines, he—" Tina began talking, her voice shaky and cutting herself off with what sounded like a muffled sob. Nines felt tears begin to well up in his eyes, the saline solution blurring his vision until drops escaped, rolling down his face.

"Goodbye, Nines," Ada said before turning around and walking away. Nines stood frozen for a few more seconds, blinking away his tears and trying to block out the pained voices bleeding into his mind palace—one of them was Gavin, he knew that immediately, hearing his voice thick with panic and confusion.

"Ada," Nines whispered out, taking a small step forward and causing the red wall to appear again. He slowly brought his arms up, his left hand attempting to curl through the materialized code and pull while his right hand formed the shape of a fist and banged against the block.

**[Memory Deletion Progress: 100% Completed]**

"Ada!"

* * *

"Nines!"

Nines woke up with a jerk, his eyes snapping open. His breaths were fast, the android on the point of hyperventilating as tears blurred his vision and his LED spun a bright red. He couldn't bring himself to focus on anything, not with the current distress that was overtaking his thoughts. There were loud gasps filling his ears and it took him a second to realize they were coming from  _ him, _ sobs pouring out of his throat and causing his whole body to tremble.

"Nines, Nines, hey," a deep voice said on his left, the words gentle and quiet. Nines couldn't bring himself to look at the source of the voice, though, shutting his eyes tightly and unconsciously gripping on to the soft material that he was sitting on. He heard his voice be said once more before there was a ginger touch on his neck, flinching in response but not pulling away instead facing towards the source of contact. There was another touch reaching over to his right arm, lightly grasping on to his upper arm. Without even thinking twice, his right hand let go of the fabric it had been holding on to and flew up, quickly finding purchase on an arm—a hand resting on the back of his neck and another clutching lightly onto his arm.

"Nines, hey, can you hear me?" The voice asked. Nines tried to answer, but all that came out of his mouth were more cries, static lacing his sobs. The person swore under his breath before speaking again. "Okay, it's okay, you don't have to talk. Just... if you can hear me, squeeze my arm."

And Nines did, finding enough strength to squeeze the arm that he was holding, his fingers barely even flexing.

"Fuck, okay, that's good," the other man breathed out, letting go of Nines' arm and bringing it up to the other side of his face. The RK900 could feel a calloused thumb rub gently across his cheek, breaking a tear streak. Information suddenly fled into Nines' sensors, detecting the smell of a cologne he had bought two months ago and the slightest hint of smoke that he found annoying yet calming and charming all the same. The all too familiar scents and touch somehow allowed Nines to bring himself to open his eyes before the other man could say anything else, his vision blurred but still allowing a wave of security to come over him at the sight of the person next to him.

"There you are," Gavin sweetly said, a weak smile as he brought his right hand away from Nines' face and instead put his on his right upper arm, slowly rubbing it up and down. "See? I'm right here, Nines, it's me, it's Gavin. I'm here, baby, I'm right here."

"Gav—" Nines began speaking, an uncontrollable sob cutting him off from saying his boyfriend's name. He brought up his left hand and reached towards the human, grabbing on to the side of his maroon t-shirt.

"Hey, hey, c'mere," Gavin said, pulling Nines towards him. The android put up no resistance, leaning into the touch as Gavin placed one arm on his back, keeping his other hand on the back of Nines' hair and gently running his fingers through it. Nines closed his eyes again and wrapped both his arms around Gavin, his head resting comfortably on the detective's chest and allowing him to hear his heartbeat. "I'm right here, Nines, I've got you. You're safe, I've got you."

Warmth spread over Nines' body, content fighting against his terror as Gavin held him tightly, whispering words of reassurance and love to him. The hand on the android's back began to move in soothing motions, and along with the soft movement on the back of his head and the words of adoration being said to him, it only took a few more minutes for Nines to finally calm down and for his LED to revert to a spinning yellow. Tears stopped falling down his face, his cries quieting and becoming shuddering breaths, the lowered noises revealing a low crackling sound in the background. The android suddenly realized that there was a subtle heat radiating from somewhere in the room, and all at once, Nines' surroundings snapped into place.

Nines and Gavin had rented a cabin up north in rural Michigan, taking a short vacation before the holidays later in the month. It was only their second night there, the couple laying on the brown leather couch in the living room, the furniture faced towards a fireplace. They both must have fallen asleep, the fire still lit and its bright orange flames swirling and providing a warm glow to the room. Its heat was a comforting presence to the android detective, the fireplace still a fascinating concept to him.

"Feeling any better?" Gavin quietly asked Nines, the android beginning to try and take deep breaths in an effort to calm him down even more. He gave it a few moments before he was ready to speak, Gavin being patient with him and waiting for as long as Nines needed.

"Y-Yes," Nines stuttered out, finding his voice again. He took another deep breath, his body still shaking but not as violently as before. The saline solution from his eyes had dried up on his flushed blue cheeks, the sensation strange and tacky against his synthetic skin. "Somewhat."

Gavin hummed understandingly in response, his hands slowing their motions but not stopping, which Nines was thankful for. "You wanna tell me what that was about? Or, I mean, we could just go back to sleep if you want."

"I..." Nines started talking, opening his eyes and pulling back slightly. He looked up at Gavin's face, the fire behind him giving the human's face a soft glow, accentuating his handsome features. Gavin gave him a small smile as his hazel eyes met Nines' blue ones, and though Nines couldn't bring a smile up on his face just yet, his frown went away the tiniest bit, a comforting feeling taking over his chest from all the love in Gavin's eyes. "I was trapped in my mind palace again... Ada was there."

"Oh," was all Gavin said, knowing exactly what Nines was talking about. "Shit."

"Yes," Nines said again, getting a small huff out of his boyfriend. The taller man looked away, feeling the tiniest bit uncomfortable at the recalling of his nightmare. "I couldn't... I couldn't get out. It didn't work. And Ada, she... she made me—"

"Hey," Gavin interrupted, noticing how distressed Nines was becoming over the details of his dream. "You don't have to talk about it, Nines, it's okay."

Nines took another deep breath, shifting even closer to his boyfriend as he tried to only focus on Gavin and Gavin alone. "Thank you."

A beat of silence passed, the only thing filling the air the crackling of the fire. It was a pleasant sound to Nines, albeit still fairly new. It had a sort of coziness to it that he wasn't used to, but cherished all the same.

"We should talk to her sometime," Nines told Gavin, his voice thick from exhaustion caused by his crying. His eyelids fluttered, but he refused to let them close. "It would be nice to hear how she's doing."

"Good idea, babe, but how about we talk about this more in the morning? It's late as hell, and you should probably go back to sleep and rest up after... all that."

"It's stasis," Nines corrected him, a small smile on his face as he looked back up at Gavin. Gavin smiled back, shaking his head a little before placing a soft kiss on Nines' forehead.

"Just close your eyes, terminator, okay?" Nines breathed out a laugh at that, listening to the human anyway and closing his eyes as he leaned his head once again against Gavin's chest.

"And Gavin?" 

"Yeah?" Gavin said, tiredness overcoming his voice, too, as he shifted into a more comfortable position while still holding on to Nines.

"Thank you," Nines told him, feeling himself beginning to slip into stasis, his LED returning to its usual blue.

The last thing Nines heard before falling asleep was the fire still crackling and Gavin telling him, "You don't need to thank me, Nines, I'm here for you."

And he was.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading! i honestly did not mean for it to get this long, but sometimes i just can't stop myself kjdshsf. i totally loved writing it, though. content where gavin is comforting nines is my weak spot <3


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